re: first part
So what, now 21 is still a 'child'? people need to get their head out of their ass
re: the second part
I am reminded of the time my father was setting up his estate plan, and had one of the better local attorney's writing it. The guy included a bunch of hidden time bombs, buried deep within the document, but designed to avoid certain problems. As it applies here, he had a clause which said....
if (after the death of either my mom or dad), the other remarried
and if the person they married was younger than their oldest child
then the new spouse not only gets nothing, but the executor of the dead parents estate is prohibited from telling them until the time the estate was settled
Which was backed up by:
if anyone attempts to challenge or file suit against any provision of the trust, they automatically get nothing