I was in a messy divorce a few years ago...

I was in a messy divorce a few years ago. My oldest daughter (in college now) sided with her mother and hasn't spoken to me since. I keep buying her birthday presents and Christmas presents. I've been something of a people pleaser for a long time.

I don't want to write her off but I'm tired of extending my hand and getting nowhere. She also has a terrible attitude - she takes after her mother's feminist, anti-father, selfish, haughty, inconsiderate attitude. I feel by continuing to buy her presents I am rewarding her dishonor.

Still, she's young and young people are foolish. I expect she will grow out of it. I still love my daughter and I don't want to let her go. I also don't want to stoop to her level. Our culture is full of people turning their backs on their own family, and I don't want to be like that. Especially as the father I have a responsibility to keep my family together, as much as I can given the circumstances. But maybe that's just me being high-minded about myself, rationalizing my people pleasing tendency?

What would you advise, Anon Babble?

archive.is/kNd4K

sexo

You shouldn't keep extending your hand if its rejected. Its the whole free bird thing. Either she will never talk to you again ( rare ) or after a few years she might finally start making her own mistakes and then forgive reach out to you.

nice diary, faggot

Put the money you spend on gifts in an investment account for whatever period in her name. The gifts are useless. At least she will be able to use the bucks later, if she ever decides to foster a relationship. If not, when you pass away she will have that. You don't know her likes so you are wasting money and it's just making you feel better and means nothing to her. When she grows up and understand relationships don't always work out as planned she might get a clue. But buying stuff is literally doing nothing so stop. Go get a new relationship and have kids if you want. You need to get on with your life. Only she can open the door and baubles aren't the answer at all. She may never reengage but it doesn't matter. She's in the world and grown up so you've done your job. Stop wasting time on an adult that is choosing something other than a relationship with you right now.

get a new daughter and dont let this one get poisoned. women usually know they will divorce about a year in advance, men usually the same week as the divorce. the woman sees a problem and "wants to fix it" but she is unable to communicate the seriousness of the situation, so the time goes by where she stores up all the bad things the partner does instead of initiating a dialogue. all those bad things you done in her mind are things she'll exaggerate and then tell others about to justify her behavior. this is why they tell kids their dad is this or that and it completely changes their views. your daughter probably has some crazy ideas about you that you just cant change. she might reach out again in the future, but you still have time to make another. if it's hard for you then you can take the jungle asian route.

nice nigger ID nigger

I keep buying her birthday presents and Christmas presents.

You're retarded.

I expect she will grow out of it.

You're retarded, it will only get worse.

I am rewarding her dishonor.

On this one you are correct.

heres something to consider. The classic family tree no longer works. What remains true though is that women are given away to another family. If you give your wealth to your daughter you are giving it away to another family and making your family poorer.

She'll fuck up her life and eventually won't be able to find a simp to fix it for her. That's when she'll suddenly decide it's time to "forgive" you.

Well, it's your mistake in the first place to choose a non mother material, and impregnating her too, that's why I always laugh at the idiots who keep posting "JUST MAKE MORE WHITE KIDS MAN!!!" as if white men are emotionless niggers who just impregnate and run away, meanwhile they are pushing men to ruin their lives because the system is fucking rigged against them.
What should you do? your options are little to none at this stage, in a masculine society you can put the mom and the daughter into submission and everyone will support your move, and no, I don't mean by beating, there are so many ways to do it but only works when the society is masculine and no kiked laws against men.
Giving her gifts or being nice won't get you anyway, talking to her won't work either because women are instinctual, you can't reason with them, driven by emotions only like sadness or fear, your daughter is spoiled now, raised up on hating men and you yet she will be craving their attention for validation, she will be happy to use them and manipulate them as some sort of personal winning, she will be a burden on every man in her life as well.
Sometimes you have to learn to let go, anon, just don't close the doors (she knows your number/where you live/etc) and make it clear that you are there for her, but nothing really can be done beyond that.

This. Probably after she squeezes out a little nigger baby and wants OP to be a 'grandpa'(surrogate father) to a niglet. HAHAHAH!

Even if you stop reaching out to her it's probably not the end of the relationship, and she will reach out to you at some point. But making that decision for distance in your head can give you some peace and allow you to get into a better mental state.

this too
that's why I can't stress it enough for men to find a mother material not just wife material if you are planning on getting kids.
Women are delusional, an usually they surround themselves with people that feed these delusions "muh words of affirmations muh safe space muh therapy" it's all to justify that you is the bad person.

this. expect a niglet soon. she'll be at your door asking you to take her in with her nig baby. the father of course already left.

Reason for divorce? Reason for daughter being angry at you?

Terrible advice.

all those bad things you done in her mind are things she'll exaggerate and then tell others about to justify her behavior.

this is exactly what happened. and there was no shortage of feminists in her family and mine to rationalize her wickedness

If your daughter is between the ages of 12 and, say, 26 - give her time. If you were/are a decent, loving father she will realize her mother’s manipulation and come back around. Only maturity & experience can help her to realize, so you gotta be patient.

happened to my uncle too. the mother went so far as to claim he was a pedophile in court. never told the kids why they couldn't see him except that he's a bad man. years later my cousin then asks his dad what the fuzz was about and he produces the court documents and shows his son the accusation that he molested him. he cut all contact with his mother after that.
it's stories like these that made me decide never to let the government into my relationships when they side with women over even egregious lies like this. we have a whole generation of men like me and the media wonders why "hateful" things like Tate or right wing parties are popular among young men.
The girl I picked for myself is someone i picked because; she was a virgin until me, both parents are still married and the father is in charge, she votes conservative, has a strong nurturing side. But in spite of all that I still know that this is what everyone else thought.

it's complicated

ex was/is spoiled, unfaithful (I never caught her openly but there were a lot of red flags, inclinations/indications). she also undermined my discipline of my daughter, who imitated her mother's defiance. my ex was raised by a feminist mother. she claimed to be conservative later, but women just play a role. she didn't acknowledge me as the head of the family, including over her, and that's the way I saw it.

I was hard on my daughter the last few months my ex and I were together, it was a toxic environment for everybody, and I could have handled it better. but it wasn't that bad, she knew I still loved her. I was also suffering from some digestive issues, I'm sure the stress contributed to it, and vice versa.

my ex kept me away from my kids for ~9 months, it was the worst year of my life. she stole our business, used the money to hire "therapists" and a dirty lawyer. the court appointed a lawyer for the kids, a morbidly obese tattooed white 20 something year old woman, guess whose side she was on?

fucking nightmare, but I kept fighting. the dirty rat lawyer kept throwing tricks and hurdles and barriers at me, but I kept going. my family in town knows I am a good father and sided with me (my out of town family - feminists - sided with my ex). I found some good people during that time who supported and encouraged me. remember lads, when you're going through hell there are still good people in the world and they will help you. don't give up.

Gifts won't do anything and just reward bad behavior. Spending time with her, on the other hand, could have an everlasting impact.

Do you have any custody rights? If so, make the most of your visitation time & don't miss a single opportunity to spend time with her. The only thing that potentially breaks people out of these spells of delusion is real experience that contradicts their beliefs. If you don't have custody or visitation rights, all you can do is consistently remind her that you'll always love her & tell her you want to see her. That's the end of my advice.

All I can say now is don't fuck this up. The world has enough bitter mothers poisoning their daughters against men. Making it 1 less will be a gift to yourself, her, her future husband, and potentially even her mother if she witnesses all this & the change in her daughter too. Good luck, anon. I really do genuinely mean it.

and I could have handled it better.

Have you told her so?
Did she deserve you being hard on her? She was a problematic teen?

she was a virgin until me, both parents are still married and the father is in charge

this is EXACTLY what I tell my kids to look for. a virgin who is raised by conservative parents and who has a good relationship with her father.

sounds like you are very fortunate, anon. I will give you some advice. don't drink alcohol, and treat your wife with kindness, similar as you would a child. they are emotional creatures and lower thinking beings.

Yes, I've apologized for being overly hard on her. She deserved to be disciplined but I could have handled it better. it was a toxic environment, I was feeling terrible (physically and mentally) and I lost my temper with her a couple times. The primary problem was her mother. she was inciting and encouraging defiance.

she's in college, it's not a matter of custody at this point

all you can do is consistently remind her that you'll always love her & tell her you want to see her.

yup

now I must sleep

I appreciate the good advice, Anon Babble

Lmao faggot OP actually called the only good advice itt "terrible advice"

Really you need to grow a spine and stop being a whipped dog to your ex and exes child. Because she isn't yours right now, and may never be again. But please, spit in the eye of people sincerely trying to help your dumb ass.

a lawyer for the kids

you mean ex's second lawyer.

very fortunate

it's a choice I made after having my childhood ruined by a nasty divorce, years of redpills and pragmatism. I don't love her like I've loved previous partners, but I'm choosing this one because I don't want to end up alone and childless, but I also don't want to be divorce raped. it's a fucking shame men are walking a tightrope like this.

I think conservative patriarchal up-themselves narcissistic ignorant masochistic men deserve everything they get. Your daughter knows what you are.

anon, the system will 90% of times will side with the woman, the reason why western world is going shit it's because it's a matriarchy.
it sounds that it happened when your daughter is already old enough, if she truly loved you before she won't act that way even if the mom was encouraging her, rest assured, daughters usually ending up hating their mothers so that relationship between both won't last long, and due to her mother instability soon she will tries to find a stable figure, hopefully you, to talk to, just withdraw now.

I could have handled it better.

nope, that's the defeated tone, you have been under strong gaslighting that now you are doubting if you, the father, disciplining your daughter is wrong or could have done better, you should take all the measure to discipline your kids, and the mother should supports you in this process, even if you did mistakes the greater good is still there and should be the focus, you did your best in that time to your knowledge, you should not be perfect in handling the situation, no one is, and gaps in your way should have been filled by your ex-wife, siding by you not against you, so don't blame yourself because even if you did the perfect handling, a woman like that will still manage to find a way to portray you as the bad person.
Btw, regardless of what the issue is, most likely the mother is siding with the daughter because the mother is doing/want to do what the daughter is doing, pay close attention.
Best advise is withdraw, find peace in some stuff you enjoy doing, or even date someone else, that daughter will call you in the first turn of events in her life, it will be on you to cont the discipline or not

this is the path of most men these days.

1) get married
2) get cheated on
3) divorce & get financially raped
4) become a 24/7 cuck and cry to sleep every night because your ex wife stole your kids and your money

You need to do it when you're ready to fully apologize.
First understand that the "toxic environment" or your health problems, are not reasons to lose your temper.
Do you mean a couple *two* times, or a couple *less than 10*?
In her view, the primary problem in you losing your temper is you, not your wife.
Being hard on children or teens that are good and generally keep themselves out of trouble, is 100% retarded.
1. Stop making up reasons and fully own to your bad actions.
2. Make all the communications you have, positive and constructive.

The jannies are fucking dead

I don't know I just hope your daughter is getting fucked deep in college.

sometimes people breakup in a way that its not your fault, but also not your fault

by this logic it is your fault

Keep trying to extending Olive Branch until she is vulnerable and she really needs it then you cut her off.

She's your child. You are bound forever.
The mother of my kids is abusive as fuck to me, and I take it because my kids willl NOT grow without their father.
If they shun me as they grow up, I'll be there the second they need me.
I'd die a thousand times over for them.

tl;dr: you made your choices, don't you fucking try to escape the consequences.

Our culture is full of people turning their backs on their own family

there is nothing wrong with that, especially if the family shuns you first. Dont cross her out, but be advised we are living in a feminist world

having a daughter in the first place

It's a boy or an abortion. Now it's too late, you've already gotten attached.

jungle asian route.

Redpill me on this

grab a gun (in minecraft)

you know what to do anon. Dishonor has a price

if it makes you feel better, mine divorce raped me after 15 years, i am lucky that i am still alive. Her new rebound relationship failed because she came back to ask me for more money

I expect she will grow out of it.

She wont.

ok. I was saying it more as a joke, but what you see a lot here in scandinavia (and the Faroese Islands actually have it the most) is that older men, who have often been married before, struggle to find a feminine and loyal woman here. women in our countries are very difficult thanks to the typical Anon Babble talking points. so they take their money down to south east asia and pick up a wife from there.
these men who have been lowered in value because of divorce or age look for women who are lower in status too.

also, just so it's said, I've seen an increase in stories about men who have been found dead alone in their apartments and the worst story I heard was a guy who wasn't found for over a year because there was no one who asked about him.
I really really dont want that to be me, a male cat lady *shudders*

marry Philippine woman

she gets citizenship

she empties your bank account and leaves

Many such cases

Do you actually try to speak to her? Buying her gifts might make you feel like you’re “trying” or whatever but if you really wanted to speak to her, really wanted to see her, you would just not take no for an answer and show up on her doorstep. Or call her every day. Or do anything that showed more than bare minimum effort and a deeper need to have her in your life. I mean, birthday and Christmas presents? That’s two days out of the year, dumbass.

t. guy whose father did what did, sent me cards etc for my birthday, but never cared to talk to me and eventually we just stopped communicating entirely and now have not spoken in over 20 years

Lmao you coddled a stupid bitch

You should look at turning your back on her as a virtue and strength, not a weakness or failing. She is an adult choosing her bed. You may be the gene donor but she has made it clear you're not her daddy. It's up to you if you want to make that trap door permanent or not.