Be me

And what is stopping you from going back to school? It's not like undergrand's not a day care anyway. With your supposedly high IQ you should be able to masturbate your way thru the school in no time.

weed addiction that turned into adderall and weed addiction that turned into meth and weed addiction plus whatever other substance I could get my hands on

grew up poor

drop out of high school

become NEET

get my shit together

take SATs

get into college

graduate with good grades

go to law school

graduate top of my class

work for state supreme court

work for best firm in state

get most prestigious law job in the market

have mental breakdown, go completely manic at work

think people are spying on me, working for the world's top billionaires, etc., and end up driving two weeks across america fleeing from invisible threats

end up in mental hospital

lose my career, friends, etc.

get sanity back, get hired by shit law jobs for two years

get tired of it, quit career in february

now NEET

moving to philippines in november to marry fiance and remain there, jobless

at least I have you guys, bros

White trash like you are why I'm pro affirmative action. I've been to college, grad school, been a TA, and I have seen white males are the most likely students to be a waste of space who never show up to class, never read the books, act like they are too good to be there. So might as well give those spots to minorities instead.

no money, no car, any my life will be over by the time Im done anyway. who the fuck is going to hire some late 30s retard who just finished undergrad with no real experience for any actually good job?

break the heart of parents being a nigger

check out to rub a little bit more salt in their wounds

Nigger, sort yourself out, you are under 40 so you can rebuild your life

You really have to kill yourself, a 30-year-old faggot crying like a woman, you have to make room for competitive men.

How do you get addicted to weed. Weed made me constipated before I could get addicted to it. And adderall makes me hyperfocus on random activities so much I forget to take it again.

Have you tried learning a trade like being a lineman? I hear the railroads e.g. BNSF are hiring.

Somebody probably would if you actually tried. Are you a convicted felon?
Maybe get into IT certs, or find some online hustle.

If you can't join the military, teach English abroad. Maybe consider French Foreign Legion. Gtfo of your current setting and just reset.

Bro you care too much about university bullshit that doesn't matter. You can get a basic ass job and get a girlfriend and be happy.

You ain't getting a good reroll if you commit suicide anon. You'd reincarnate as a sea cucumber, or worse a LAND cucumber

In all seriousness, there are still ways to enjoy life even in a bleak situation (that don't involve narcotics), you might as well eek out some more time on this Earth and see how things take you before you get your ticket punched for you. No need to make the ferryman job any easier

Get a job. Make at least $5000. Shouldnt take longer than a month in NYC or LA. Then fly to China and get yourself a cushy white monkey job. Easy.

become poor batman with a garbage bag cape and fight crime until you can get a gofundme going

just make 5k bro

based. your grandfather will be proud.

weed addiction doesn't "turn" into any of those

you clearly just wanted to escape sobriety whatever way you could

whatever other substance I could get my hands on

probably a lot to do with your upbringing, your parents, family relationships, lack of attention etc

adderall, meth,...

ngl these are pretty tough to kick, most people never do

i guess you're just gonna have to find meaning of life somewhere else and learn to accept your place, and let your ego go

it is almost impossible, most fail, but rare individuals succeed

the world is insanely big, you can find things you never imagined even exist, but it will be a brutal struggle, to say the least

good luck

I could save up enough in a few months but how the fuck am I just going to land in china and somehow find living situation and a job with nothing but 5k not knowing the language. I wish it were that easy

Live out of you car and work. Least amount they'll pay you in NYC and LA is $20/hr. Go to missions and eat for free if need be.They also have showers. LA and NJ also have overnight free parking for those who live out of their cars. Just fuckin hustle.

I already make more than 20 an hour waiting tables. the problem is, 5k is not enough to reset your life fucking anywhere.

join the army - the maximum age is 35 and perhaps befriend some masons or express interest in joining
think about writing or public speaking
the time is already gone, btw.
you can't get it back, but it's now part of you
rather than pity yourself for what you can't have
relax and open yourself to what you can and do have

the alternative, if you are really very desperate for a family, is to work hard and put all of your energy into that endeavor

It's plenty. You guys come from comfort so likely never learned to hustle.

If u got inceled and had no gf its understandable why u would look towards such by any means necessary, but if u had gf and interaction with womyn then getting addicted seems to be ur fault, but mistakes happen so no judgment. In the end for us it was needing to demnstarte a power never before seen to get womyn to finally notice us but by the time this occurred it became clear that they r interested in the makers mark genes which really ruins things for us, not to mention the cameras everywhere which is beyond retarded.

start your own lawnmowing business bro!

relatable

manage to get into a reputable law school all thanks to adderall

always hated public speaking but figured it would sort itself out

public speaking fear gets worse and worse. can't sleep because of it. going to class on 0 hrs sleep sometimes. have to get blackout drunk every night if i want to satisfy the attendance requirement

dr prescribes SSRI instead of a sleeping pill or benzo

doesn't seem to help so i stop taking it and drink my way through school averaging 3hrs sleep. think about anhero every day

obsess over public speaking and insomnia for three years

barely graduate. completely physically addicted to alcohol at this point

cash out my 401k, fully expect to drink myself to death. 100lbs fatter than i was first semester

after a few years of this my mom drives me to rehab

sober two years

lost 50 lbs. still have $100k student loan debt. too anxious to leave the house

still just think of killing myself everyday, but i won't do it bc it would make my family sad

should have dropped out

have literally no future and no reason to live

This is the best part. This is when you write your manifesto.

jealous. i still don't understand what lawyers do

You can get from mother's basement retard to median income in your area within a year or two if you apply yourself. Not even in a way that requires genius insight or superhuman effort or incredible luck, just forming good habits and continuously improving

Listen op. No one is coming to save you. I was a junkie for 8 years. Stole from my family. I hated myself. I managed to kick. I went to rehab. I got a shitty job at a call center during the day, eventually saved enough to move out of the homeless shelter. I got a shitty economy apartment in the ghetto. Started using youtube to teach myself basic help desk I.T. after work everyday. Kept in touch with my family from a distance. Never again asked them for money. I sent mt resume out to every IT helpdesk job within bus range, and someone took a chance on me for a job (you dont have to do IT, but its easier than a lot of other skilled labor jobs). Making 22 an hour at start. That was 10 years ago. I have a 5 year old boy. A wife. A car. A house. I'm a network admin now making 6 figures.

There is hope, but you have to stop being such a depressed faggot. Your other choice is to give up. Either way.

checked

I'm similar but my parents were poor and divorced and both new families rejected me. Have you considered the power of spite? You can learn to harness is to bend others to your will.

Go work construction for a few years, they hire people with a shady background all the time. Then go into business for yourself, if you’re smart you should be able to figure out how to arrange financing and set up your own shop. But if you stay in the service industry you’ll be waiting tables forever unless you can do culinary school to go back of house or do a business degree in your spare time to go management. Glad to hear you got sober, a lot of people fuck their lives up worse than you did and don’t see it until it’s too late.

Under 40 is still young. You can get your shit together and find a you g wife and have kids and a happy situation by 45. Trust me