I would like to sell you a bucket. I have two for you to choose from:
1. Brand spanking new bucket. Never been used. Straight from the factory floor.
2. A used bucket. There's no way to know how many men have used this bucket, but there's evidence that they have all jacked off into it and wiped their dicks all over the handle. Some have pissed on it. Although it's been occasionally hosed off, there are still remnants of semen and urine inside of it and all over it.
Also, the bucket is angry and bitter because of this, and it is demanding that you treat it like a princess. This bucket requires constant emotional stimulation in the form of random compliments and affirmations.
When the bucket inevitably fails and stops working as a bucket, you have to put half of everything that you own in it and it all leaves with the bucket for some reason.
Which bucket do you want to buy, anon?