"America First" is the dumbest, most low-IQ movement to ever puke itself into existence. You were already first, you absolute smoothbrain chimpanzees. You ran the world, printed the global reserve currency out of thin air, had NATO, the IMF, the World Bank, and half the planet's GDP under your boot—and instead of coasting on that god-tier setup, you threw a tantrum because your feelings got hurt by brown people and Chinese factories. You weren’t exploited, you were the exploiters, sitting at the top of the global food chain crying like a bitch because other countries finally started getting scraps. So you burned down the house to “own the libs” and now you’re out here begging for $3 eggs and wondering why everything sucks.
You had the cheat codes. The world ran on your systems, your banks, your tech, your military umbrella. But “America First” morons couldn’t handle not being the only kid at the table, so you rage-quit the global order you invented. Now BRICS is rising, the dollar’s getting side-eyed, China’s eating your industrial lunch, and Europe’s barely returning your calls. You turned a royal flush into a flaming dumpster full of fentanyl and conspiracy podcasts. “America First” isn’t a policy—it’s a cry for help from a dying empire too proud to admit it’s old, bloated, and getting lapped by nations that actually do long-term planning instead of electing reality TV hosts to scream at the wind.