be on vacation in bongland
see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk
like a graceful penguin with gout
follow her for a block
working up courage
gently touch her shoulder
“H-hello, I’m Anon. Y-you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?”
she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag
stares intently for a few moments
then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence
“YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!”
quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths
“FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON!
she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it’s leg caught in a wood chipper
head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table
Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu
“ERE NOW, WATS THIS SHITE? IT’S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I’LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?”
look at the menu. It’s in English, just a fancy script
she shoves her menu at the waiter
“I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!”
“I’m sorry, madam, we don-“
“I SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!”
he slinks away without even taking my order
Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket
starts rubbing at her crotch
brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles
“JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT’S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN’T WE?”
look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check
turn around
Arya is slumped over the table
raped to death by Pakis