Kraut/pol/ – alternative chancellors edition

yes, the SPD is pouting and going "hehe we will show these NAZIS whos the real mature political party"

they really are THAT retarded and petty.
which coincidentaly is also the reason all the major parties are getting their asses kicked publically rn, and why the AFD (a party that is publically rideculed and scrutinzed) constantly wins voters.

its all going to burn down eventually if all of our politicians remain this fucking retarded. but I for one welcome this.

Go Helge.

everyone knows it's finally time for a BAVARIAN BVLL as chancellor

very sad day today
merz is such a nice person.
i once met him in a german supermarket. he noticed that i looked and followed him. he came up to me an greeted in the most friendly way.
he noticed the cat food and asked about my cats. what breed, what names, what i love best about them...
he listened for almost an hour. it was such a warm feeling to get that much attention from such a powerful person.
when i went to the cashier she said that the cat food was already paid for and handed me a voucher for 5 years free cat food.
mr merz had paid for jeronimo's, lukas P's. and Sir merkel's food.
an old lady turned to me and said:
he has done the same for everyone here.

I’ve assembled a team

bahahahahhaa

lmao

KÖK

is the bottom bitch really in charge of cultural replacement?! i dont understand her fucking pictogramm.

Such a warm, honest and good person.

It's time to say it. The Russians are preventing Merz from taking office.

"we want a second vote today!"

"okay."

"fuck you nazi pigs, now we won't do it!"

I miss Hitler bros.

No Rosinenpicker-Brandmauer! Either you have a Brandmauer, or you don't! I want them to betray another promise by using the AfD votes, but I don't want to hear anymore Brandmauer talk after that. How about working together in a constructive manner for the good of the people, you absolute morons? Wouldn't that be a nice change of pace?

heh

hitler missed you too

you miss a faggy idiot who got 8 million of the best of his people killed for nothing?

Beauftragte der Bundesregierung für Migration, Flüchtlinge und Integration

That is exactly what she is.

for the good of the people

But they see the people as fucking vermin who they have to exterminate to finally get their utopia on earth.

Say what you want about her, but she has 30 IQ points on Merz and Söder. I never voted for her the way she opened the flood gates for islamo-Barbarians will never be forgotten, but she's still more capable than anyone of those guys.

making someone whose name most germans can't even pronounce the minister of integration

surely that will not end absolutely horrendously

who's the fat guy with the cap?

she's growing senile though and just endlessly insisting that she never fucked up and no matter how abhorrent the results of her decisions, she'd repeat all of them the exact same way again, even knowing the consequences.

Ahh, the new Bundesministerium für Weedgrow-Angelegenheiten.

Fischbrötchen physiogonomy

Thats just how those people work.
Vorwärts immer, Rückwärts nimmer.

thought you were talking about tay for a minute

Faceboomers unironically believe this.

i, for one, enjoy this beautiful shitshow

Just like the terror attacks before the elections. Russian machinations everywhere.

true, basically all the CDU and SPD cucks are only trying to imitate her schtick which is kind of impressive even though I despise her

Not defending Merz or Söder, but she just had it way easier with way way more competent people around her during her first terms. As soon as pressure was put on her system it imploded. Also the Atomausstieg was the lowest IQ and most destructive political decision in the history of the BRD.

BREAKING:
second vote scheduled for today

Round 2! Are you ready?

new election in ~2 hours
let's hope it fails again
i want kino

Go Helge

Go

yeah. to hell.

but spd is against ?

Ahh breakfast time for Neets. We live in a wonderful world.
Hope this shithead fails again.

if the plot will give us a decent level of drama, he will be elected in round three

Atomausstieg was the lowest IQ and most destructive political decision in the history of the BRD

voting women into positions of power is NEVER going to yield any meaningfull results.
Aristophanes in 391 v. Chr wusste dies schon

HAHAHAJAHAHHAHAHAJA KWAB
KWAB
KWAB
KWABOTY
NOT AGAIN
LOSER KEK DOES IT AGAIN
Merz was poised to become Chancellor today but fell short of 6 seats, a huge fucking chock and now there is a delay!!!!

Lmao and people expect a serial loser bottler chocker to save EVROPA? Remember this guy got cucked by Merkel in 2004 or so. Left the CDU, joined after Merkels resignation, in an leadership election he lost to another woman, and the 2nd election lost to a goofy manlet, and 3rd time is the charm, he finally wins and becomes the Chairman. Pushes for an immigration bill which was voted by the AfD, cucks out because of no cooperation with far right. He barely wins any seats this year federal election, cucks to the SPD and the Greens, and despite all that he lost again.

And he is like 196 cm tall, but still a cuck. Literally the Arsenal and Borussia Dortmund of politics if you know football. HHAAHHAJAHAHA

inb4 merzel gets now below 300 votes

I specifically don’t want faggots replying to my posts.

CuckDU begging the left for another go

LIKE IMAGINE IF HE FAILS TO BECOME CHANCELLOR

That wasn't some value judgment about Merkel. She's just more competent and high IQ compared to the clown show we see today. Let me put it in other words: I would prefer any prominent German politician from the 1960-80s (party doesn't matter) to the clown show we have today. Yes, people like Franz Josef were corrupt and under the thumb of the Americans, but come on, he could just as well be a different species, the difference is palpable.

Leave him alone.
In reality you are jealous of his looks and character.
youtube.com/shorts/Oz42vpgsJYc

Merz, Söder & Co are the direct result of Merkel's policies. She intentionally axed everyone competent to ensure no one could try to dispose of her like she disposed of Kohl.

ngl, former nein-vote supporter here. i thought i was fun watching merz crash and burn. but in all seriousness we cant let afd have neuwahlen.

ok, boomer

Didn't they change the GG recently? What did they change?

1 trillion Sondervermögen

Kanzler der Herzen

political opinion from someone who cannot even write a single grammatically correct sentence

Exactly why the universal voting right will always end in a clown show eventually.

increased debt limit

Yeah they wrote climate-neutrality in.
Now you can sue the government because of methane in cat-farts.

They'll get it this time, but I pray they won't anyway.

I thought they needed a two thirds majority if they wanted to Repertoire the election today?
fuck

i said mild mustard

elections will continue until the correct candidate wins

that sounds familiar somehow

Digits and Merz gets even less votes.

Krauts why is Merz such a loser cuck? I don't get it, is the guy unlucky or just weak-minded fool? You expect me to think that guy will stand up to Trump and Putin?

They do, and they asked Die Linke to help with that.

begutachtet

Hervorragend!

Jawohl!

Why do you belive the real leaders of the (((free))) western world want strong and capable leaders??

LMAO
HOLY FUCKING KINO

everybody just wants to see him crying. he's just that kind of loser. the world is like a high school yard.

He was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth and made a living of lobbying and pleasing people. He's always weaseled his way to the top and has no spine or character of his own.

Praise Kek.

Holy based, I hope this happens and everybody starts running around panicking like headless chickens.

It was high IQ in 2011, if you only go by "I need to win the next election". Merz and Söder are clearly too stupid for this sort of political maneuvering.

Merz has some growing up to do and learn empathy at age 69 like Idubbbz.

psoidy and krusty are way too giddy

I don’t like these vibes at all
At all.

Please be true

Perhaps it's so that they can say

LOOK guys it's was only a fluke blunder. Six of your guys were at the bundeskiosk buying a bundesbutterbrezn at the time. Just an unhappy coincidence I guys.

(me)
it’s bad news

Krauts why is Merz such a loser cuck?

Because he's an idiot.
First he excluded every possible option apart from the SPD, leaving him with almost no room for negotiations.
Then he gave the SPD and Greens the debt they asked for BEFORE they elected him, so now they have no reason to do so anymore.

He's just a genuine fucking idiot and as much as I hate Merkel, I fully understand now why she axed this fucking retard and exiled him from politics.

drown your sorrows in yakult

They're bringing home those sweet, sweet homeruns. L for Darmobert.

checked

Who else is watching the Bundesshitshow on live stream?

zdf.de/play/live-tv/sender/phoenix-live-beitrag-100

Söder yeah he's a merkel puppet.
But Merz was specifically prevented by merkel for 20 years

Digits don't lie, even KEK is watching the livestream with us.

was

I wrote this while standing in line at a gas station.

I "keked to this post"!

Söder

He got 25 million Russians killed so he's good

please don't take my mam

More like

please don't give me your mam

youtube.com/watch?v=Ixrje2rXLMA&ab_channel=DollyPartonVEVO

Getting cucked by mutti

Lmao

But someone as fucking retarded as Merz can only even run for the chancellor's office because Merkel killed off everyone competent.

finally, good content. happeningfags get on my nerves

It is still in beta phase.

what happend today was 100% merkel doing phone calls. she is still cucking him

Bassa Selim lebe lange

Who bottles and chokes harder? Merz or Dortmund, or jeez maybe even the 2000's Leverkusen and Ballack.
Bro is literally Ballack political brother :sob:

The high IQ move would have been to wait it out, but she panicked. It was such a dumb move that you can reasonably deduce malicious intent. I thought the same for a long time, but imho interpreting her ability to always float on top as some kind of high skill is just a huge misconception. I get that it's easy to say in hindsight, but nothing she ever did really worked and she didn't leave a positive mark on anything she touched. Not on her party, not on the country and not on Europe.

Frau MEHRKILL ist der Obeihaider im Merzelgame.

we will forcefeed you ze lewakassemmel and you will like it!

Roll

then I'd need to turn on VPN and then I can't shitpost with you faggots

could merkel be the third bogdanoff brother?

You are brown, aren't you?

Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter? I would say a person's values and behaviour matter. Their ethnicity is not important.

2000's Leverkusen

Er leverkuste.
leverkusen (verb) = im entscheidenen Moment versagen

youtube.com/watch?v=dAj55mYnYeY

Leverkrust und Brimmmerhoben.

youtube.com/watch?v=exnhYZ9st0o
youtube.com/@dwnews

JJAJAJAJJAJAA

danke

this one is the english language german government news channel

be me

wake up

check news

one hour away from total government collapse

Btw what kinda Pope bullshit vote is this even ... do they set the parliament alight when they are done to make a smoke signal?? Alrighty, given their competency level they might just need our community support with this ...

thanks i think i prefer the welt one

So what happens of he fails the second round? Surely there will not be a third round and he wins that one?
Anyway, literal Weimar-style politics, today.

I can't see them fail a second time though. It would be absolutely disastrous, surely they used the time between the last failure and this vote to call in every favor and promise generous bribes to those they suspect of having voted "no".
If he fails again, the coalition is basically kill before it even formed and they can prepare for an assrape in the inevitable re-elections.
No one in parliament will want to risk that, because it might very well be their seat that is lost to the AfD, and they only just started collecting the money.

based and helppilled
your next post's digits determine the votes that Merz gets

Would be kino if AfD votes for Merz, just like how they did with FDP-Metterrich or whatever his name was. Merz would be forced to resign the first minute.

In the third round, you no longer need a majority, you simply need to be the candidate with the most votes.
But it's already unprecedented that a prospective chancellor loses the first round, so who knows what they'll cook up if this one goes bust, too.
Then everything becomes possible because at that point, shit has caught fire with zero chance of putting it out again anyway.

voooting will contine until politics improve

simple ass

entirety of retarded modernist lefty politics is to spite the other side

We should start killing them before they actually become a bigger threat than they already are. Suicidal faggot cultist ass behavior.

Let me put some swarthy bitch in charge of integration policies

People deserve to get hung for this bullshit.

Their Utopia is placate themselves as much as possible while leading a country of swarthy rabble incapable of any great things

I hate these mindbroken objectively villainous cancerous cunts so much bros its unreal.

Nope, they gonna vote him in now. First time was just a little reminder to show more humility or some shit.
It's all a fucking clown show.

Bruh
kek if it comes to a 3rd round, again surely merz cant lose that one too. It cant be that hard winning in situation like that all vs all

Maybe AfD will perform a troll Meisterstück now and vote him in, I would love to see how they will react in such a case.

Humiliation ritual

Laurine nooooo.
NOOOOO.

First time was just a little reminder to show more humility or some shit.

Pretty much. First Faeser pulled her VS stunt to try and block the route to any cooperation with the AfD on her last days in office, now they sent him a reminder that he will get NOTHING of his own demands, and that he'll be a good cuck and only push SPD policies throughout the whole term.
They'll let him succeed this time. You'll probably have some Greens and Linke politicians who don't want to risk their seats in reelections casting their vote for him, too.

that's retarded, it's a secret vote

i see that the chances are low to nonexistent
but im getting excited
love me some funny happening in the morning

I would love to see how they will react

"We would have gotten the votes without the AfD sooner or later anyway."
These people don't operate on principle.

198

Oh boy

if the AfD cast enough votes that it's clear he didn't just get in with the votes of the SPD and CDU, but leaves it open how many of their guys voted for him so you can never be sure if the coalition actually stood behind Merz, it would kill of his chancellorship very quickly.
I don't think the AfD would do themselves any favors if they do troll-tier shit like that though. the point they (rightfully) love to push is that the other parties are using every dirty trick they can think off against the AfD. couldn't really do that anymore if they publicly dab on the Merz like that

this blackrock faggot has 3 children?!

First Faeser pulled her VS stunt to try and block the route to any cooperation with the AfD on her last days in office

Lmao,based mommy Nancy

y tho? AfD would win nothing doing this

Here we go, baby

wow, wtf
why do they get talking time now?
just vote and die

I love the edging, great drama.

Just gotta moralize a little before getting down to business, politics 101.

if less than 6 people chicken out then we have kino for days

Just a reminder for our foreign frens. You can legally call Friedrich Merz "Fotzenfritz/Cuntfritz".

Ahh i will do it now Fotzeeenfriiiitz.

Why is Barney the Dinosaur speaking now?

so at what time is the vote?

Wie zwei bedröppelte Schuljungen die gerade die Leviten gelesen bekommen, lol. They will vote them in now, they will get some Grüne votes, but he won't forget this humiliation.

They're actually gonna do it, aren't they? God I love this timeline.

~30min

how dense are you? merz will be kanzler either way, might as well make it a poison pill IF you want to go full troll

yes, which is why I agree that they shouldn't do it. it would be funny, but would hurt them as a party

hey will get some Grüne votes

doesnt sound like they would right now

She can talk all she wants, doesn't mean shit (imho). They could have called in a few favors. I think they will bring it over the finish line now, but the damage is done.

What happens if Merz loses again?

is there any politician in germany (Except the both saras) that remotely looks like a normal human being and has a normal human being body shape? everyone looks like a weird troll rapebaby (from the people that spoke in the past few minutes)

Brutal day of hazing for the guy.

but the damage is done.

ehh, could block him a second time so he doesn't limp over the finish line today, make it a multi-day story so it doesn't get buried as fast
alas, don't think they will

nothing

another vote tomorrow; like how republicucks went through 20 votes to vote in whatever his name was last year

actually, the greens are polling at the same values as they got in the election. so they might try to trigger re-elections in the hope that it will lead to SPD+CDU+Grüne, since SPD+CDU would no longer work

Ehh, so they now vote first if they can vote a second time? 2/3?

Blood Eagle behind the stairs of the Bundestag, according to the rules. I don't think they will go through with it, though.

He probably gets a little sad and has to find comfort in a bier

options:

he steps down

he gets elected

someone else gets elected

the president calls for a new vote

now

*taps the "Politics is Hollywood for ugly people" sign*

not sure if that vote has already happened, but they first need to vote on if they can run the second round today, yeah.
should be a given though, the AfD already said they'll support it

>the president calls for a new vote

Do you mean a new national election?

the voting will continue until the results are right, zis is traditional
i do not have a small enough violin, sad to say

no. attractive people don't go into politics. politics is where you go if you're too hideous (and stupid) to have any chance of making it elsewhere.

They just did, it was unanimous.

why are they leaving

less than 300 this time

they have to get their voter ID from the west lobby

They're going to vote, it's secret.

Btw, who is the cute Augenbrauenmädchen from Welt? I don't usually watch TV...

More like Cancellor! HAAH!

those roastie claws

don't they press a fucking button (and mix up their thingy so you don't know whose who)

moin
GTA VI trailer just dropped

Keine Ahnung, kann mir aber nicht helfen, sieht aus als wenn sie nicht nur eine Gesichts-OP hatte.

Imagine the handjobs, though.

Gen Z boss, Mini

yes, sorry for bad phrasing

No, it's all on paper. This isn't the kind of thing where they want fraud.

CDU’s Jens Spahn says that “all of Europe, perhaps the entire world” will closely follow the (2nd) vote

Utterly delusional. The World could GAF.

goddamn i gotta go at 4, they won't be done cunting the papers by then

I get a boner when I think about her Erziehungs- und Maßregelungsversuche.

Das ist nicht ok, Anon. Du kannst sowas nicht sagen, Anon. Das ist unterste Schublade, Anon. Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar! *heul heul heul*

no. the vote is anonymous, and no digital vote would be anonymous. you can always trace that shit back.

Not gonna happen.
They know they'll get assraped by the AfD in that case.

well we are all here caring about it

A woman who clearly only has sex with virgins
She steals their virginity and then dumps them

considering afd is controlled opposition and that we dont know their plan i wouldnt call this off

I BET THE RUSSIANS DID THIS

sure, that is why you randomly mix up the remote control appliance, they just take it out of a pile and you don't know who took which

So called pro-white ukraine supporters. But it is always stupid to listen to eastern europeans when it comes to german politics.

moin, interessiert niemanden dieser 56% mutt simulator

europoors still think they're relevant
it's sad really

afd ain't controlled oposition since they're trying to actively ban them

nobody tried to ban meloni etc.

Lmao, Bundestagstarn.

since they're trying to actively ban them

god this guy is such a pathetic embarrassment

i don't think we're the kind of people he was thinking about...
but beggars can't be choosers i reckon

Is this a troll account?

You Austrians have that shithead under control?
Yeah Putin sitting in the polling booth and influence them.

After their first meeting, Mussolini said that Hitler had the mannerisms of a "sexual degenerate".

all northern europoors do

calling it now => fewer votes for merz

Im absolutely baffled he gets paid to be insane and make sojafaces on twatter all day.

ewwwww

Are they not?

I have a weakness for her eyebrows, I'm Waigel-sexual, don't kink shame.

deliver 3 taurus rockets, probably our whole stock

they get shot down

"wyell...."

look for the next wunderwaffel which will totally win this war

SPD/Grüne/Linke would like to, but it won't happen without the support of the Union. so the SPD won't pursue it further

No he gets paid by the NEOS to scream about Austria in NATO all day

no
the old parties just put out that recent report to make it more difficult for cdu to work with them instead of the old gang
no realistic chance of getting banned

lmao what a retard

Based bush lover.

Taurus delivery is out of question because Verschlusssache like Scholz stated before. The whole debate was just political campaigning.

Results are expected to be in shortly after 4PM KGT (Kraut General Time)

kök

Theo should have been Bundeskanzler back in the day, these eyebrows happen once in every hundred years, it's obscene that he didn't represent Germany.

leeessssssssssssss gggggoooooooooooooooooo

putin wishes he had this kind of influence kekw

Just seems like unnecessary complexity. Some of the appliances might fail, or there might turn out to be some non-obvious way to track who took which one, or the system that counts the votes could be compromised.
If I understand correctly, these secret ballots are rare and only involve a few hundred people. So it seems better to keep it simple and use paper.

clearly the SPD is Putin's Trojan horse and in direct opposition to the FDGO. I propose banning this Volks- und Staatsfeindliche Partei

I am going to miss Olaf. 5 more years for him, please.

So true

oh he was playing UT irl?

He was a charismatic Alpha-Chad, but sex appeal isn't enough, he also has to be competent.

Given the success of his negotiations after the election, it wouldn't come as a huge surprise to me, if Lars Klingbeil came out as the new chancellor.

no
but he wanted to

Yeah with a secretary's office for each brow.
Also filmtip: Venus im Pelz

WHEN ARE THEY DROPPING AAAAAAAAAA

Staaarrrrte das Spieeelll.

Noo, gif was for loosing fritz again.

Yeah i always get mad at the Sans part too

"Derp!"

Scholz wins in the 3rd round

makes a call to Vienna

SPÖ chads pardon Benko

Elbtower construction immediately restarts with federal funding

Söder is arrested

Munich is renamed to Kurt-Eisner-Stadt

to punish Klingbeil for his insolence, Soltau is levelled to the ground and replaced by a marshalling yard to rival Maschen

I kneel

What the fuck is wrong with his fingers? Does he have Marfan syndrome?

Schimpansenhand

grim

More like martian syndrome.

Based lad.
True knowledge right here.

dildo fingers

What did he mean by that?

This is an official diagnosis by me, it's official!

325

lame

Kek

Merz did it, no surprise

Noo, gif was for loosing fritz again

Loosen up his arsehole or what?

shit he won -.-

Jajajaja

ITS OVER

it's over

Damn, n̈othing ever happens.

4 more years of stagnation

So what are the chances he'll make it through his entire term?

how many seats do they hold again?

Good question. I think he will serve a full term, only if cave into the demands of the supporting parties.

lol
lmao
it will be over when the first state level elections in 2026 make any coalition without AfD participation impossible.

Yeah, same shit as always.

stagnation

Welch Optimismus, beneidenswert.

Maybe he gets a heart attack when sworn in.

328

stagnation

kind of an optimist, aren't you?

I-It's over, isn't it?

happening is canceled. nothing ever happens. back to discussing the haven

chud being delusional

Geh mal lieber zur Schule.

it was blatantly obvious they'd elect him in the 2nd round, and that they'd do it today so the image of him being a loser wouldn't have too much time to settle in.
this was the SPD letting him know that he lives and dies at their mercy, and that his term will be one of SPD politics and SPD politics only. that he will lose that title faster than he can spell it out if he ever dares to oppose them.

ach du scheiße xD

What if SPD votes first, and then AfD votes second after telling SPD they're going to vote against? They should all just vote at the same time so they can't let each other's voting direction influence, because it obviously shouldn't.

"ES IST GLEICH ZEIT ZUM APPLAUDIEREN ICH REDE JETZT!!"

still clapping

kek, w*men

Thank you for your high-info, high-IQ post, brother. Your knowledge of German politics is impressive, thank you for your well-informed assessment.

You're quite welcome. We'll be sure not to CIA coup them if they vote right this time.

...and if you don't watch your tone, you might have a weightlifting accident.